Only twenty years ago, people would casually stroll the neibourhood, stop and chat with each other or walk down the street and greet you cordially. Nowadays people walk at a very fast pace and for the most part just walk past you looking at the ground lost in their own thoughts. It seems fewer people will say hello to a stranger. So it seems to a lesser degree with family and friends. Have we in this society lost some of our ability to communicate?
Are we so involved in our own problems that we just don’t really see people anymore?
There is a misconception that if you are talking to someone that you are communicating. This is not necessarily so. There is a difference between talking at someone and actually communicating. Talking at someone and not allowing an exchange of ideas does not promote a harmonious situation or solutions to a situation. For real communication to occur, an exchange of ideas needs to occur for understanding and possible resolutions. Our society today is all about anything that makes things quick and easy. Unfortunately, this does not always work, especially if you are trying to resolve something. Take for example a married couple. Communication is so important for long-term relations. Without it, love just goes away. If a couple has not had real communication for a very long time, this can happen. One thing I have noticed is that people tend to put all their attention on the things we don’t like in our spouse, friend, or co-worker. If this is all you can put your attention on then you are doomed to separation and ill feelings to that individual. Here is something that I would suggest you try, no matter how bad your relationship is. We of course all have baggage no matter who you are.
There is no such thing as a perfect person. So that said, knowing that we all have something that will annoy people, I suggest that you find something to admire about that individual. Everyone has good or strong points so if you start to focus on that instead of all things bad you may be amazed to find, oh my god, there is good there too. This is what you saw in the first place that drew you to that person. If you do this enough, your feelings will revert to the original way you felt about that person. This is what I mean about building bridges, not walls. It is very easy to build walls but if you learn to find what is good in people, you will build bridges instead. How fine is that!